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Saturday, January 24, 2009

OBAMA: STRIKES? SPARES? HUH?

BARACK UNLEASHES ANOTHER GUTTER BALL


Obama’s followers think he can walk on water and I have no proof that he can’t since I have never seen him give it a shot (ice doesn’t count as "water"), but I doubt if he can. One thing I KNOW he can’t do is bowl. You may say, "What?" Bowling is America, it is apple pie, Blue Ribbon beer, and Chevrolets. Who hasn’t got the gang together sometime in their life and thrown a few lines at the local bowling center?

I’m not saying that everyone is or was a great bowler but even if a guy took his high school sweetheart, who never bowled a game in her life, on a bowling date, she could usually shoot a 75 or 80. In bowling, 300 is a perfect game so 75 or 80 is pretty bad which brings me to the subject of Mr. Obama’s prowess on the bowling lanes.

Last year Obama and his Gucci suited entourage rolled into Altoona, Pennsylvania seeking some important blue collar votes. Since bowling is a big deal in that area, Barack decided to show what a regular guy he was by bowling a game at the local bowling establishment. So, off came the suit coat and with his tie flapping against his white shirt, our future president proceeded to bowl a rousing score of 37 (Check out this one minute YouTube). That means that with ten pins on the lane per frame and ten frames per game, he averaged 3.7 pins per frame. You are allowed two throws per frame so that tells you something about his ability.

Okay, so he is not a bowler, but 37 is still really bad. The late night TV guys had a good time with this. Jimmy Kimmel said that "I bowled a 37 when I was a baby. And, I was drunk, by the way." Conan O’Brien joked that afterwards, Obama said, "That’s it, no more white guy sports for me."

Fast forward to 2009. Barack Obama is now the President of the United States and with the busy schedule he has had since the bowling fiasco, I’m sure he hasn’t had a chance to polish his bowling skills. Originally, there was even a rumor that he was going to remove the bowling lane that President Truman had installed in the White House in 1947. However, the 67 million bowlers in the country are now rejoicing as the President announced in a recent Barbara Walters interview that he will keep the bowling lane in an effort to improve his game.

Who said this guy isn’t a diplomat?

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