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Saturday, September 16, 2017

IN REMEMBRANCE OF A GOLFER NAMED PALMER

By Dave Wells
(Dave Wells is a former resident of Scottsdale who is a prolific writer and golf enthusiast.  Dave recently wrote the following tribute for "The Peak" in Scottsdale to honor the late great golfer Arnold Palmer.  Dave is a former resident of Scottsdale now living in Texas where he plays golf as much as possible.  Thanks to Dave for permission to re-print this story and thanks to Les Conklin for his fine work publishing "The Peak." J. Mc.)
A reporter once asked actor Kirk Douglas, “Of the famous people you have known. who possessed the most personal magnetism?” The reporter then reeled off a list of celebrities that included John Wayne, Ronald Reagan and Frank Sinatra.
The reporter, obviously not a golf enthusiast, was taken aback when Douglas instantly responded, “Arnold Palmer.”
Many have said that Palmer brought the game of golf to the masses. His personal magnetism, charisma and respect for fans were a big part of that success. It’s truly impressive that Palmer, despite his celebrity and grueling schedule, patiently responded to every autograph request with a legible signature.

Memorable Quotes

Arnie Palmer died a year ago this month on September 25, 2016. He left behind a reputation as one of golf’s best players, many friends and numerous memorable quotes. On the anniversary of his passing, here are some of my favorite Arnie Palmer quotes.
“Golf is a way of testing ourselves while enjoying ourselves.”
“The more I practice the luckier I get.”
“As a friendly side bet, and if you make par without hitting the fairway, you’ve won yourself an Arnie.”
“I think the average intelligent person can learn to fly an airplane, but not necessarily become a competent putter.”
“Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character.”
The quote of all Arnie quotes probably is from the very contentious preliminary meeting that was held at Palmer’s Bay Hill Club to discuss the idea of establishing a television channel devoted to golf. Different opinions were expressed and tempers flared. However, the room became quiet when Palmer spoke. He said, “Guys, if I had not hit the golf ball through the trees a few times in my life, none of us would be here today.” The participants settled down and focused on the challenge before them. The result was the founding of the Golf Channel in 1995.

“The 10 Commandments for Golf Etiquette”

Golf Digest once asked Palmer to list his “Ten Commandments” for golf course manners. Arnie’s list included, “Turn off your cell phone.” “Always look your best.” “Repair the ground you play on.” And, “Be a silent partner.”
What was Arnie’s first commandment? “Don’t be the slowest player.”
LEARNING ABOUT FRIENDSHIP 

Author with Arnie Palmer. Courtesy Dave Wells.
I played golf with Palmer at Bay Hill on a beautiful sunny day in February 1989. It was the first time that I met him. On that day, golf’s “King,” as he was respectfully known, taught me the meaning of the word friendship.
Playing the game well had a very high priority with me. But Arnie wanted to know more about me as a person than about my game. He mentioned that he had made many, many friends while playing golf.
He was a listener. He wanted to hear your thoughts and interests before he spoke about his golfing life and accomplishments. Then, as the round continued, he would provide tips and make some remarks – some humorous and some serious about friendship. Here are four examples.
“You want two strokes a side; all you get today is a friendship.”
“The best gift you will ever receive is a friendship.”
“A very important part of the game of golf is who you meet on the golf course.”
“Be competitive, but always have fun on the golf course.”

The 19th Hole


Palmer amd Special Friend, Mulligan. Courtesy Dave Wells.
He was and is “The King” in the golfing world. Arnold Palmer will not only be remembered as a great golfer, but also as a friend to many. In 2000, he received the first Annual Payne Stewart Award. The award was based on three qualities, character, charity, and sportsmanship.
Palmer, who taught so many, learned from his father, “Deacon Palmer.” The older Palmer put a set of sawed off golf clubs in his son’s hands at age four and the rest is history. In 1955, Arnold won the Canadian Open, his first PGA victory. And do you remember, Arnie winning the Phoenix Open Invitational three years in a row? He won the tournament at the Arizona Country Club in 1961, at the Phoenix Country Club in 1962, and again at the Arizona Country Club in 1963. Amazing!
The title of Arnie’s book, published the year of his death, says it all, “A Life Well Spent.”

Another Championship. Courtesy Dave Wells.

Monday, August 21, 2017

BARB'S AND MY 50TH ANNIVERSARY

Can it be?  Today, August 21, 2017, is the 50th anniversary of Barb’s and my marriage.  I guess we are doing something right as it has been a great half century for us.  

We met in 1965 in Cincinnati, Ohio a couple of months after I was discharged from the U. S. Air Force in September of that year.  It was a classic case of me falling for the proverbial “girl next door.”  She didn’t live next door went I went into the service in 1961 but miraculously she had moved in with her family while I was gone.

Since we were both students at the University of Cincinnati, we drove together to school many times and after she got her teaching degree in 1967 we got married and moved to Missouri where she began her teaching career.  At the same time, I completed by bachelor’s degree at the University of Central Missouri which was near the base where I had been stationed in the USAF.

After my graduation in 1969 I spent a career in sales to the grocery store industry in the Kansas City area.  At the same time Barb taught elementary school near our home in Johnson County, Kansas near Kansas City.  By 1989, we retired to Scottsdale, Arizona where we have lived since.  It’s hot in the summer but the winters are great.

We have been fortunate to have a lot of good things fall into place over the years.  Hopefully we will be as fortunate during the next 50 years!

Thanks for reading and leave comments below if you wish!

CINCINNATI, OHIO, AUGUST 21,  1967


                   


















SCOTTSDALE, AZ, AUGUST 21, 2017 (Yes, that's MY hair!)

                                                              


Monday, July 17, 2017

OLD TIME EXPRESSIONS: TEST YOUR KNOWLEDGE OF THE PAST

I love expressions from the past, especially the ones we see in classic films. These expressions were once applied universally to our lifestyles and the technology of the time but most have become a bit out of date.  For those of a certain age, you will understand them; for the younger crowd, maybe not. Either way I’ll give a short explanation on each:

Asleep at the switch. I still hear this occasionally as a description of someone who is not giving full attention to something. However, it originated from the days when railroads had humans doing a lot of work that is automated now. If a guy didn’t change the tracks for a train going to Chicago and it wound up in Cleveland, he definitely was asleep at the switch.

That and a nickel will get you a cup of coffee. Yes, there was a time when coffee was a nickel a cup. I saw a sign in a diner when I was a kid that read "cup of coffee, cigarette, and a toothpick: 7 cents." Throw a nickel on the counter at Starbucks and see what you get.

Came in over the transom. Does anyone remember transoms? They were windows above the door that many old hotels and houses had to allow for better ventilation.  In some comedy movies with stars like The Three Stooges, you may see them going through the transom.

Put through the wringerIf someone was working too hard, they may have said they were “put through the wringer.” Many years ago the wringer was used to squeeze the water out of washed clothes before they were hung in the backyard to dry on the “line”. The “line” was a piece of rope the clothes were hung on to dry.   The clothes were held on the line by “clothes’ pins”.  Wringers were replaced long ago by the spin cycle in modern washing machines.

Best thing since sliced bread. Sliced bread was quite an invention at one time and anything that was also newly invented and convenient could be referred to being the best thing since sliced bread.

Film at 11. That was the tease for TV news in the days long before live reporting.

Beam me up Scotty. "Star Trek" technology from the 60s and an expression you may still hear occasionally.

Let’s get cranking. Popular in the days when cars had cranks to start them; no ignition switches and starters then.

Dial her up. This comes from the days when if you called a girl you liked; it would be on a rotary dial phone. No push buttons in those days.  No caller ID or call waiting either.

Here is one of my favorites.  In the great crime film from 1931, "The Public Enemy", James Cagney is a wise guy crook driving a new stick shift fancy roadster. The stick shift (or synchromesh transmission) was a new item at that time and when a valet goes to park Cagney’s car, he grinds the gears. Cagney shouts, "Hey, stupid, be careful! That thing’s got gears. That ain’t no Ford!"
Cagney was referring to the Model T Fords of that era which, as he said, didn’t have gears.

Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine in "The Apartment" 
Here is a quiz:  In the mid 1930’s, actor Warren William played Erle Stanley Gardner’s lawyer Perry Mason in a series of films.  The Perry of that era was a lot different from the latter day  Raymond Burr series.  William played him as a playboy drunk.  In one film Perry is returning to his office after a night on the town when a friend describes him as “so drunk that as the elevator went up he began doing the rumba to the starter’s castanets.”  Can you explain what his friend meant?  If you know the answer, you are a true classic movie expert.  If you don't know the answer, here it is:  In the old days, buildings that had a lot of elevators usually had a guy guiding people into which car to use. He was called a "starter." and when a car was full of passengers he would click a set of castanets as a signal for the elevator operator to take take his passengers to their various floors.  Needless to say that was a job that became obsolete fairly quickly.

For a look at a "Starter" in action google "The Apartment" (1960) starring Jack Lemmon and Shirley MacLaine from YouTube and fast forward to the 12:00 mark.  In this scene a starter walks by and clicks his castanets to elevator operator MacLaine to let her know her car is full.

It's a good example of how things were done in the past.  The things we do now are in the present but don't hold your breath thinking they will never change.

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

REVISITING VINTAGE BARBER SHOP IN SCOTTSDALE

Like most cities Scottsdale, Arizona depends on goods and services primarily from the corporate world.  That’s life today but occasionally it’s nice to break the habit and buy something from a local independent entrepreneur.

This was easy many years ago as there were plenty of local businesses like diners and restaurants that cooked hamburgers in a way today’s chain restaurants can only dream about.  Most towns also had the locally owned “malt shop” where kids would meet after school or on a Saturday night.

One place I remember from my youth is the local barber shop.  In our Cincinnati neighborhood it was “Joe the Barber.”  Joe would cut my hair as he thought my mother would like it rather than how I thought it should be.  I will never forget the smell of the Fitch Hair Tonic he would use to plaster down my pre-teen hair.  In retrospect, I guess it was worth the $1 he charged.

Joe never took appointments.  Customers would walk in, sit down, and wait their turn while listening to Joe’s scratchy radio broadcasting Arthur Godfrey or Paul Harvey.  Customers would chat or read magazines while they waited their turn.

Today in Scottsdale, a lot of the old barbershops like Joe’s are gone as their owners either died off or didn’t do enough business to warrant unlocking the door in the morning.  Many have been replaced by chain or franchise styling salons or updated versions of barbershops that are also chains or franchises.

In May, 2010, I decided to check and see if any of the old shops were left.  As I crossed Scottsdale Road going west on Indian School Road, I noticed a barber pole in front of a narrow shop in a small strip center.  I parked and approached the Scottsdale Barber Shop.  I couldn’t think of a name more appropriate than that and as I entered, I wasn’t disappointed.

A lady named Roza owned the place with members of her family, including her husband Raffail, and her son and daughter.  It was the nirvana of old time barber shops as Roza told me that the chairs were 70 years old and the barber pole in front was 90 years old.

The shop has been in business since 1957.  They offer all the amenities  of the old days including a straight razor shave, hot towels, neck and shoulder massage, and, of course, a haircut.  Arthur Godfrey and Paul Harvey are gone but have been replaced by a couple of televisions.

One customer told me he lived at 154th Avenue and Van Buren Street but it was worth the price to visit Roza’s place and get his “ears lowered.”

After a nice visit, I felt the euphoria of feeling like I was 10 again and walking out of Joe’s.  I’m going to Roza’s for my next haircut as long as she promises not to use any Fitch’s Hair Tonic.

Fast  forward to the present.  Roza and her family are still doing business at the same location giving the same quality and service as seven years ago when I wrote the above.  It’s proof that the public knows a good thing when they see it and will return.

Saturday, May 13, 2017

STEARMAN AIRCRAFT COMES TO SCOTTSDALE

A vintage Stearman PT-17 biplane aircraft arrived in Scottsdale recently and will eventually become a display piece hanging from the ceiling of the future Thunderbird Field II Plaza and Memorial at the Scottsdale Aviation Business Center.  The plane’s flight originated in Cotter, Arkansas and made several stops on its way to Scottsdale.

You may be wondering what the Stearman aircraft was.  I spent four years in the U. S. Air Force in the early to mid 1960’s and must confess that I never heard of it until this year when I read a great book called “Flight of Passage” written by a guy named Rinker Buck.  In that book, Mr. Buck recounts a trip he and his brother Kern made as teenagers in 1966 from New Jersey to California flying in a small unadorned Piper Cub aircraft.

Rinker and Kern’s father was an old time stunt pilot who flew many different planes including Stearmans in an earlier era and had been highly impressed with the crop duster pilots of the mid-west who he referred to as the “Stearmen men of the west.”  More about those guys momentarily but for now I’ll say that Rinker and Kern Buck discovered that some of those guys weren’t exactly the romantic heroes that Mr. Buck senior envisioned.

As far as the Stearman PT-17 Trainer, the company had quite a history after being founded by Lloyd Stearman in 1927 as the Stearman Aircraft Corporation.  Their factory was built in Wichita, Kansas and by 1934 the company was bought out by Boeing.  The PT-17 was a tough little plane and was usually the first aircraft a pilot in training would fly when becoming a U. S. Naval Aviator or Army Air Corps Cadet.

Although the U. S. Army Air Corps needed new bi-plane trainers by the mid 1930’s they were hampered by a lack of funds needed for purchasing them.  Fortunately, after the Navy’s purchase of some Stearmans in 1935, the Army was able to follow in 1936 with a purchase of 26 of their own.  By 1940, 3,519 Stearman trainers were delivered mostly because of the threat of World War II.  It was a popular plane as it was rugged, easy to fly, and very forgiving of new pilots which takes us back to the previously mentioned “Stearmen men of the west.”

Barb, me, and the Stearman
After landing their Piper Cub in Brinkley, Arkansas to get fuel and spend the night, Rinker and Kern got a reality check when they found that the so called “Stearmen men of the west” would never receive any awards for congeniality.   While being lauded by their father, the boys found that the crop dusters had no use for what they called “prettyboy pilots.”  To say those guys were obnoxious and ill mannered would be to give them credit.  They were far from having the great “Stearmen men of the west” label given to them by the boys’ father.

Later, the airport manager explained that a lot of those guys were rejects with bad accident histories, license violations, and poor medical histories who would never be hired by the military or any airlines.  In a word, they were “down and outers” doing crop dusting for a living to support their welfare checks.

Fortunately, the Stearman PT-17 that arrived in Scottsdale is in mint condition and before it is put on permanent display, it will be flown to various locations as a fund raising tool.

PLEASE LEAVE COMMENTS BELOW.  THANKS!

Saturday, April 15, 2017

MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL: THEN AND NOW

I have been a fan of major league baseball for as long as I can remember.  I grew up in Cincinnati, Ohio so as a kid I kept close track of our home town Reds.  During those days in the 1950’s the Reds had an exciting team but didn’t usually win more games than they lost because they lacked one of the first ingredients for success in the game:  good pitching.  They were exciting to follow because although they gave up a lot of runs, they also scored a lot with great hitters like Ted Kluszewski, Gus Bell, Wally Post and Jim Greengrass.  Consequently, we saw a lot of 10-9 games with the Reds on the short end but they won their share of those high scoring games too.

Regardless of their inadequacies on the pitchers’ mound those Reds teams and other major league teams of their era were a lot different from teams of today.  A major reason is that they didn’t make the high salaries that players make today.  During the early to late 1950’s players were fortunate to make $10,000 for a season.  Most of them had second jobs like pitcher Bud Podbielan of the Reds who worked part time at a Lincoln-Mercury dealership in Cincinnati to make ends meet.  In 1957 a great young pitcher on the Reds named Jim Maloney held out in spring training for a $20,000 contract; chicken feed by today’s standards.  As good as he was, he wound up signing for $17,000 as the team wouldn’t budge on its offer.  A guy like Maloney would be making millions today.

That era was also different from today because of the players’ attitude toward fans.  Those guys were a lot more accessible that the millionaires we have on the diamonds today.  I remember when Jerry Colangelo was involved with the Arizona Diamondbacks in 2003, some of the players balked because Colangelo insisted that they sign autographs for ten minutes before games.  It doesn’t seem like much of a hardship but with the millions those guys were making some felt it to be a burden. 

As a comparison, I remember going to Reds games in Cincinnati as a kid and collecting autographs from the players before games.  They used to hang out under the grandstand at old Crosley Field to grab a few puffs off a Camel or Lucky Strike before they went out to warm up.  That area was where we kids invaded to get autographs.  Those players were of a different mindset than many of today.  They were happy to sign our books and many even seemed flattered to be asked for an autograph.

When visiting teams came to Cincinnati to play the Reds, it was time for me to take the trolley bus downtown and hang around the hotel lobbies where the visiting teams stayed.  I acquired many great autographs from guys like Willie Mays and Monte Irvin of the 1954 World Series Champion New York Giants plus the rest of the Giants, Philadelphia Phillies, and , of course, the Reds..  Willie and Monte even took the time to add a message to me next to their name.  Monte died recently but Willie is still hanging on in his late 80’s

Those were fun days to grow up.  It was an era when sports weren’t taken as seriously as now and people seemed to have more of a sense of humor.  Today there are guys making millions who couldn’t make a team in the days of fewer major league clubs.  It’s lucky timing for them.

(Please leave comments below.  Thanks!)


Monday, March 13, 2017

GLANCING AT TV HISTORY

Although the early days of television hurt the movie business, they didn’t ruin it like they did radio. Sure, starting in the late 1940s TV was new and exciting even if it was on a 7” to 16” black and white screen. However, not every home had one for two main reasons:  Sets were very expensive and they were hard to get.

As a kid in Cincinnati, I can remember our first TV. It was a 16” B&W “National” and it cost about $500. Those were big bucks in 1949 and there was no remote, just 3 channels, and “rabbit ears” on top of the set for an antenna. When reception got bad, a little Reynold’s Wrap around the antenna helped a bit except when an airplane passed over. Nothing could help that but it at least was just a brief interruption.

Most of the shows were local but NBC from New York had a network followed shortly after by CBS and ABC. One of the events responsible for the great interest in TV in the late 1940s was NBC’s successful broadcast of the 1947 baseball World Series. One of the popular showcases for TV was the local bar. Almost every one of them had a TV and packed in the customers who wanted to watch sporting events.
It took about six months to get a set as the demand was high. Everyone was in the business including brands you probably never heard of like Muntz, Hallicrafters, and Capehart. I mentioned above our National was $500 but if you wanted an “entertainment center” you could get a 7” TV, 78 rpm record player, and AM radio combination for about $800!

TV broadcasts in the early ‘50s usually came on about 5:00 in the afternoon and signed off at about midnight or 1:00 a.m.  Popular network shows were the Texaco Star Theater with Milton Berle (Uncle Miltie), Arthur Godfrey, and Ed Sullivan’s “Toast of the Town” which, a few years later, would cause a controversy when Elvis appeared with his swiveling hips. The camera could only show him from the waist up because of protests.

For the kids, there was Howdy Doody. Before we had a set, the kids in my neighborhood would crowd every afternoon at 5:30 into the living room of a girl up the street and watch Howdy Doody, Buffalo Bob, and the Peanut Gallery. The TV was a 14" Admiral B&W table model but it looked like a 60" color flat screen to us.

A 1956 Emerson 16" Black and White screen set
If you turned on the TV before “sign on” you would see a “test pattern” which was a bullseye looking thing usually with an Indian’s head that showed on the screen accompanied by an annoying hum.

It all sounds primitive now, but at the time it did a lot of damage to theater ticket sales. From 1948 to 1953, home ownership of TVs in the US increased from 1% to 50% and by the 1960s was 90%. Suddenly, color films were flowing out of Hollywood in response to the black and white one eyed monster in all those living rooms across America.

In 1952, a gigantic screen with three projectors and a superior
sound system made its debut in select theaters. It was called Cinerama and was followed closely by 3-D with its flimsy cardboard glasses. Other attempts by the film business to thwart TV were Cinemascope and Vista Vision.
Cinerama was discontinued in 1962 and 3-D only lasted a couple years in the 50s. Both systems plus the more standard wide screen stuff were basically stopgap methods used to try to win customers back into the theaters. Eventually, both genres found their niche and gimmicks gave way to more quality films while the movie studios started working with TV making “made for TV” films.
The dust had settled.

(Please leave comments below)

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

REMEMBERING MY '61 CHEVY AND BOWLING

LOOKING BACK

If you like vintage cars, the photo below should interest you.  It was taken in the parking lot of my Air Force barracks at Whiteman Air Force Base, Missouri in 1964.

The red and white‘61 Chevy in the foreground was mine.  I had recently traded in a 1960 Volkswagen bug for it as the Volks was just a bit too small for me at 6’ 5” in height and it didn’t have a radio or heater.  That was too Spartan for me but at the time it was all I could afford with an Airman 2nd Class paycheck from the Air Force.  I paid $1,400 for that Chevy and it was well worth it.

The Chevy was a great car with the small V8 engine of those days.  Gas at that time in Missouri never went over about 26 cents a gallon and was usually at about 23 cents so it was pretty economical to run on an Air Force paycheck.

Another interesting aspect of this photo is that many of the cars parked in the background, which were routine for the time, became quite popular in later years as some of the great wheels of the past.  From right to left notice the ’60 Chevy convertible, ’57 Chevy 4 door, ’55 Chevy Convertible, and at the end of the line, a ’57 Ford Convertible.

It was a great time to be young.  The kids of today don’t realize the benefits of serving in the military and enjoying the memories and friendships from it. 

I doubt very much if I would have ever been able to enjoy a summer in Germany but I did in 1963 thanks to the Air Force “Operation Short Spurt” program of that era. Not everyone got great duty like that but serving one’s country was a great feeling and I have great memories from it.

REMEMBER BOWLING?




I used to love to bowl.  My wife Barb and I bowled in many leagues in the Kansas City and Scottsdale areas and we would rarely miss the pro bowlers on Saturday afternoon TV broadcasts of the Pro Bowlers Tour. 

The attached photo was probably the high water mark of my bowling experiences.  Each July I joined a group of about thirty guys from Kansas City who bowled in the prestigious Petersen Tournament in Chicago and although most of them were better than I was, I was always invited to join them in the Windy City.  Fortunately for me, I upset all of them and won the Kansas City squad that day in July of 1987.  Needless to say, it was quite a thrill to pull an upset like that.  I only wish my hair today was as dark as it is in that photo! I also wish I could still average 200!

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Monday, January 16, 2017

SMARTPHONES COULD BE RUINING YOUR LOVE LIFE! YIKES!!

I think the following column by Professor James A. Roberts of Baylor University is interesting.  I do not own a smartphone simply because I don’t think I would ever use it.  I have an old flip cell phone which is a convenient dust gatherer so I doubt if I need it or anything even more sophisticated.  I certainly don’t feel any need to be “phubbed” by a smartphone as I have seen enough bad manners for a lifetime just by the way people use the old fashioned cell phone which is now a member of the bad manners hall of fame.
How do you feel about Smartphone etiquette?  Leave comments below.  JM
SMARTPHONES COULD BE RUINING YOUR LOVE LIFE
By James A. Roberts, Baylor University
The majority of our relationships are in shambles.
The U.S. divorce rate hovers at 40 per cent but that’s not the whole story. Many intact relationships are on life support. According to a survey by the National Opinion Research Center, 60 percent of people in a relationship say they’re not very satisfied. There are some familiar culprits: money problems, bad sex, and kids.  But there’s a new relationship buster: the smartphone.
My colleague Meredith David and I recently conducted a study that explored just how detrimental smartphones can be to relationships.
We zeroed in on measuring something called “phubbing” (a fusion of “phone” and “snubbing”). It’s how often your romantic partner is distracted by his or her smartphone in your presence. With more and more people using the attention-siphoning devices -  the typical American checks his or her smartphone every 6 ½ minutes, or roughly 150 times each day – phubbing has emerged as a real source of conflict. For example, in one study, 70 percent of participants said that phubbing hurt their ability to interact with their romantic partners.
Most know what it’s like to be phubbed: You’re in the middle of a passionate screed only to realize that your partner’s attention is elsewhere. But you’ve probably also been a perpetrator, finding yourself drifting away from a conversation as you scroll through your Facebook feed.
In our study, we wanted to know the implications of this interference.
We surveyed 175 adults in romantic relationships from across the United States and had them fill out our questionnaire. We had them complete a nine-item Partner Phubbing Scale that measured how often some felt “phubbed” by his or her partner’s smartphone use.
Sample questions included “My partner places his or her smartphone where they can see it when we are together” and “my partner uses his or her smartphone when we are out together.”
Survey participants also completed a scale that measured how much smartphone use was a source of conflict in their relationships. Participants also completed a scale that measured how satisfied they were with their current relationship, how satisfied they were with their lives and if they were depressed.
We found that smartphones are real relationship downers – up there with money, sex and kids.
People who reported being at the receiving end of phubbing also reported higher levels of conflict over smartphone use than those who reported less phubbing. Not surprisingly, higher levels of smartphone-related conflict reduced levels of relationship satisfaction.
Something as seemingly innocent as using a smartphone in the presence of a romantic partner undermined the quality of the relationship. This can create a domino effect: As our study also showed, when we’re not happily in love, we are also less likely to be satisfied, overall, with life. We’re also more likely to report that we are depressed.
Why, might you ask, does partner phubbing wreak such havoc between romantic partners?
At least two possible explanations for such relationship tumult exist. The “Displacement Hypotheses” suggests that time spent on smartphones displaces (or reduces) more meaningful interactions with your lover, weakening the relationship. I call a second theory “Smartphone Conflict theory.”  Simply put, the device is a source of conflict and leads to fighting. Fights, of course, can only serve to undermine your satisfaction with your partner and the relationship.
So what can we take away from all of this? Even if we act like it’s no big deal, it still stings whenever we’re phubbed by our romantic partner. In a sense, our romantic partners are choosing their phone over us.

We probably feel a little less important and the relationship feels a little less secure.