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Sunday, November 23, 2014

IF ONLY CANADA WOULD TAKE THEM OFF OUR HANDS!

I don't know how thorough the distribution is on this but in case you haven't seen it, it's pretty good.  Perhaps not if you are of the liberal persuasion in which case I would advise you to acquire a sense of humor.



 For my liberal friends, DON'T GO.  Remember you felt this way in 2000 but you survived.  It'll get better.



The unintended consequences of the recent U. S. election from    The Manitoba Herald:

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the   border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls   for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The recent actions of   the Tea Party and the fact Republicans won the Senate are prompting an exodus   among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray,   and to agree with Bill O'Reilly and Glenn Beck.
Canadian border farmers   say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights   activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night.


"I went out to   milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the   barn," said Southern Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage   borders North Dakota . “The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry.   He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said   I didn't have any, he left before I even got a chance to show him my   screenplay, eh?"
In an effort to stop the illegal   aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled   them. He then installed loudspeakers that blared Rush Limbaugh across the   fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through and   Rush annoyed the cows so much that they wouldn't give any   milk."
Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet   liberals near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, and   drive them across the border where they are simply left to fend for   themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for our rugged   conditions," an Ontarioborder patrolman said. "I found one carload   without a single bottle of imported drinking water. They did have a nice   little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught,   they're sent back across the border, often wailing loudly that they fear   retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about plans being   made to build re-education camps where liberals will be forced to drink   domestic beer and watch NASCAR races.
In recent days, liberals have   turned to ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have been disguised as   senior citizens taking a bus trip to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs.   After catching a half- dozen young vegans in powdered wig disguises, Canadian   immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed   senior-citizens about Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney to prove that they were   alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The   Lawrence Welk Show, we become very suspicious about their age," an   official said.
Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal   immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and are renting all the   Michael Moore movies. "I really feel sorry for American liberals, but the   Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said.   "How many art-history majors does one country need?"
In an effort to   ease tensions between the United States and Canada , Vice   President Biden met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the   administration would take steps to reassure liberals. A source close to   President Obama said, "We're going to have some Paul McCartney and Peter, Paul   & Mary concerts. And we might even put some endangered species on postage   stamps. "The President is determined to reach out," he  said.

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9 comments:

Jim McAllister said...

Gotta love those Canadians!

EH?

Rick Kepple said...

First cup of coffee this morning and I thought you were serious at first. A producer huddled in a barn ... funny. It's been weird in Missouri lately. The Lt. Governor is probing Governor Jay Nixon's emails to find any evidence that he was communicating with President Obama to hold back the National Guard to let Ferguson burn. The St. Louis Post Gazette suddenly endorsed the legalization of marijuana hoping to spur holiday sales in their great city. Potheads do spend more money and often go out for dinner. They are singlehandedly saving the economy whereas drunks just throw up and pass out. Then there was Rev. Al and others trying to push for civil war, but luckily they were in Missouri and we got to see what citified nitwits look like up close. It was deer hunting season. Most of the armed people in St. Louis were out hunting. Lucky break for the looters. A Code 5000 was called on the scanner, but it turned out that people were actually burning their own places down. Like that fella who accidentally burned down his own house and he's filing suit against himself and the fire department for racism. He wants the DOJ to investigate himself and he demands to be indicted or Rev. Al will be back! Yes, those people in cities can get strange. Oh and there was this chick who visited. A blonde, 5 foot tall, hazel eyes and absolutely gorgeous. She looked remarkably like that chick in that band, FM. Really smart, or so I thought. On Thanksgiving Day, she called the ambulance saying that she needed more drugs because we hillbillies didn't have any hard drugs. She kept rambling that in Scottsdale, ambulances deliver drugs to her home. I went out, called the EMT to the side and whispered to get rid of her. So they hauled her off and I got a call that she's safe with lots of drugs, except her new wardrobe is restricting. Are you missing a rock star by chance? Well, Merry Christmas.

Jim McAllister said...

Good post, Rick. I see you still have a nice sense of humor.

Ferguson was really something but not anything that surprised me. That is the way those idiots handle such things. Most of them probably never heard of Brown but they sure as hell weren't going to miss an opportunity to steal and burn. They are too damn lazy and stupid to act like human beings that have a shred of responsibility. They like losers like Al Sharpton who preaches divisiveness of people while wearing thousand dollar suites paid for by the contributions he gets.

It's just another example of how far apart the ideologies of the races are.

Mike Slater said...

Jim, loved the election and the more liberals leave this country the better.

Jim McAllister said...

Mike,

Right on!

Jim McAllister said...

Hi Jim,

Your comments on the ‘flood of Lefties” fleeing across the Canadian border was very good.

Allen

Jim McAllister said...

Thanks, Allen.

My wife's friend sent that to me from Cincinnati.

AHiredGun said...

For all of you currently gloating - just remember, 2016 is coming and the Democrats will return the favor. What bothers me is this swing every 2 years is only paralyzing the Country. I wonder when the electorate will wake up to the BS the GOP and Tea Party keeps selling to the masses. Probably never, since I keep finding people who vote GOP and can't give me s single good reason why they should do so. As far as I am concerned, the GOP is doing NOTHING for the Middle Class or the poor.

Jim McAllister said...

We'll see, hopefully the Reps will learn and we will never see anyone like Obama with his welfare state again.