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Thursday, May 06, 2010

Pet peeves of the road

Welcome to the 21st century multitasking driver.

Over the years drivers have become more ill mannered. Maybe it’s the fast paced, high pressure, permissive, "it’s not my fault" society we live in or maybe it is relative to Arizona driving. When I lived in Kansas, drivers seemed more courteous but that was a long time ago before multitasking and cell phones were a lifestyle. Good driving manners were a part of life in the Midwest; I hope it is still that way.

Here are a few pet peeves of the road that I have noticed as being common in recent years in Arizona: When road work necessitates that two lanes merge into one, most drivers will quickly line up into the open single lane. But, there are always a couple guys who stay in the lane that is closed ahead then race as far as they can in that lane and try to force themselves in at the front of the line. Those guys need to get slapped with a pie in the face.

How about the guy coming the other way at a red light who cuts in front of you to make a left turn rather than waiting until traffic clears. Then there is the 1978 Cadillac going down the street 20 miles per hour in the left lane with the right turn signal on. Another favorite is the guy who passes you, then slows down to a speed slower than you were going. Maybe two pies in the face would be appropriate for these clowns.

In our current era, texting and talking on cell phones while driving has become typical with some disastrous results. Watch out for cars that are weaving all over the place and if you are on a bike in the bike lane, good luck if one of these fools swerves into you. As far as bike riders, some of them are not necessarily members of mensa. They like to ride two or three abreast in the bike lane which means they intrude into the right traffic lane. Legally, they can do that but legality doesn’t matter much after a car kills you.

Those who speed through school zones and side streets make me wonder "What are they thinking?" It’s the same with the lazy jerks who feel they have a right to park in handicapped parking zones. Then there are the guys who drive around with expired license plates. That is easy to do in Arizona as that little date sticker does not stand out. Many years ago in Ohio, a new plate was issued every year in a color totally different from the year before. You couldn’t get a block without being caught in those days. Three pies in the face for these guys: two chocolate cream and a lemon meringue.

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