I think the following column by Professor James A. Roberts of Baylor
University is interesting. I do not own
a smartphone simply because I don’t think I would ever use it. I have an old flip cell phone which is a
convenient dust gatherer so I doubt if I need it or anything even more sophisticated.
I certainly don’t feel any need to be “phubbed”
by a smartphone as I have seen enough bad manners for a lifetime just by the
way people use the old fashioned cell phone which is now a member of the bad
manners hall of fame.
How do you feel about Smartphone etiquette? Leave comments below. JM
SMARTPHONES
COULD BE RUINING YOUR LOVE LIFE
By James A. Roberts, Baylor University
The majority of our relationships are in shambles.
The U.S. divorce rate hovers at 40 per cent but that’s not the whole
story. Many intact relationships are on life support. According to a survey by
the National Opinion Research Center, 60
percent of people in a relationship say they’re not very satisfied.
There are some familiar culprits: money
problems, bad sex, and kids. But
there’s a new relationship buster: the smartphone.
My colleague Meredith David and I recently conducted a study that explored just how
detrimental smartphones can be to relationships.
We zeroed in on measuring something called “phubbing” (a fusion
of “phone” and “snubbing”). It’s how often your romantic partner is distracted
by his or her smartphone in your presence. With more and more people using the
attention-siphoning devices - the
typical American checks his or her smartphone every 6 ½ minutes, or roughly 150
times each day – phubbing has emerged as a real source of conflict. For
example, in one study, 70 percent
of participants said that phubbing hurt their ability to interact with their
romantic partners.
Most know what it’s like to be phubbed: You’re in the middle of
a passionate screed only to realize that your partner’s attention is elsewhere.
But you’ve probably also been a perpetrator, finding yourself drifting away
from a conversation as you scroll through your Facebook feed.
In our study, we wanted to know the implications of this
interference.
We surveyed 175 adults in romantic relationships from across the
United States and had them fill out our questionnaire. We had them complete a
nine-item Partner Phubbing Scale that measured how often some felt “phubbed” by
his or her partner’s smartphone use.
Sample questions included “My partner places his or her
smartphone where they can see it when we are together” and “my partner uses his
or her smartphone when we are out together.”
Survey participants also completed a scale that measured how
much smartphone use was a source of conflict in their relationships.
Participants also completed a scale that measured how satisfied they were with
their current relationship, how satisfied they were with their lives and if
they were depressed.
We found that smartphones are real relationship downers – up
there with money, sex and kids.
People who reported being at the receiving end of phubbing also
reported higher levels of conflict over smartphone use than those who reported
less phubbing. Not surprisingly, higher levels of smartphone-related conflict
reduced levels of relationship satisfaction.
Something as seemingly innocent as using a smartphone in the
presence of a romantic partner undermined the quality of the relationship. This
can create a domino effect: As our study also showed, when we’re not happily in
love, we are also less likely to be satisfied, overall, with life. We’re also
more likely to report that we are depressed.
Why, might you ask, does partner phubbing wreak such havoc
between romantic partners?
At least two possible explanations for such relationship tumult
exist. The “Displacement Hypotheses” suggests
that time spent on smartphones displaces (or reduces) more meaningful
interactions with your lover, weakening the relationship. I call a second
theory “Smartphone Conflict theory.” Simply put, the device is a source of conflict
and leads to fighting. Fights, of course, can only serve to undermine your
satisfaction with your partner and the relationship.
So what can we take away from all of this? Even if we act like
it’s no big deal, it still stings whenever we’re phubbed by our romantic
partner. In a sense, our romantic partners are choosing their phone over us.
We probably feel a little less important and the relationship
feels a little less secure.
