AZ Diamondbacks could go 61-101 in 2011

(Reprinted from the Scottsdale Republic edition of March 26, 2011)

DIAMONDBACKS’ LOSSES COULD ECLIPSE ONE HUNDRED IN 2011

By Jim McAllister

I started watching major league baseball as a kid in 1954 while living and dying with the Cincinnati Reds. They usually played around the .500 mark because they had great hitting but no pitching. There were a lot of 11-10 losses but they always had a chance to pull games out in the bottom of the ninth with guys like Wally Post, Ted Kluszewski, and Gus Bell coming up to bat.

In the late 1950s there was the "Go-Go" Chicago White Sox who had great fielders but not many power hitters. However, they had good pitching and defense and scrambled for runs while actually making it to the World Series in 1959.

The Reds and White Sox had their deficiencies but won games because of being proficient in other areas. Conversely, the Arizona Diamondbacks lack pitching, hitting, and defense although Chris Young in center field and Stephen Drew at shortstop have pretty good gloves.

Last year they lost 97 games and that includes having a good pitcher in Dan Haren for half a season, Mark Reynolds at third, and Adam LaRoche at first. As much as Reynolds struck out, he did have a lot of runs batted in and homers while LaRoche had a good year hitting .261 with 25 homeruns and 100 runs batted in.

Those three guys are gone and have been replaced by mediocre and old journeymen players. The pitching staff is full of has beens, never “wases”, and rookies. The only outfielder with consistent power is Justin Upton but he is usually injured and strikes out too much with his .260 average. Probably the best guy on the team is catcher Miguel Montero.

Prediction for 2011: 61-101 and by August, Kirk Gibson will have thrown twenty Blackberries against the clubhouse wall to match the number of after game buffet tables he turns over in disgust. It’s going to take more than a new spring training home to revive this team. The Diamondbacks are a good example of bad management by former personnel who were poor judges of talent.

Jerry Colangelo has to be smiling while looking at the shiny ring his Diamondbacks’ team won for him in 2001. He may have spent a fortune on that team but at least they were winners.

Jimmy Breslin wrote a book many years ago recalling the New York Mets 1962 baseball season. The Mets were a terrible team and Breslin titled the book "Can Anybody Here Play This Game?" The title came from a statement by an exasperated Casey Stengel, who had to manage that bunch of misfits. After this season, maybe Republic sportswriter Dan Bickley can write a similar chronicle about the 2011 Diamondbacks.

There is some good news: I have been incorrect on predictions before so I will say that if I am, I will quote my favorite pulp fiction detective Nick Carter by saying, “If I’m wrong, I’ll apologize!”

(L-R) Wally Post, Gus Bell, and Ted "Big Klu" Kluszewski of the Cincinnati Reds of the 1950s. The Diamondbacks need more sluggers like these guys were. (Cincinnati Enquirer)

Mr. Joe flies inaugural TWA Boeing 707

LEAVING ON A JET PLANE

In 1959, I became a small part of Trans World Airlines (TWA) aviation history. While in New York City on a business trip, a change in plans allowed me to cancel my Friday flight to New Orleans and return home to San Francisco on Saturday instead. The ticketing agent offered me two options. I chose to take the flight scheduled to depart from LaGuardia at 9 a.m. rather than 1 p.m.

On the morning of my departure, a crowd of passengers seemed to be celebrating some sort of festivity. The reason: We were flying to San Francisco aboard a Boeing 707, TWA’s first commercial west-bound non-stop cross country flight. Their inaugural east-bound flight from San Francisco had arrived in New York City the day before.

Joe Finnerty

Before boarding, each passenger received a framed certificate with the TWA logo commemorating the flight. It hangs on the wall of my den. Almost as an afterthought, they later mailed me an egg timer neatly wrapped in a TWA emblem. It’s now missing from my kitchen.

From the outset, one knew this inaugural flight would be memorable. The plane had a new-car smell about it. Everything looked spic-and-span, bright and clean.. My seat was next to the window which really pleased me.

My journey started out inauspiciously. The plane left on time and ambled along the tarmac at a slow speed toward the runway where it paused a few moments. The pilot then began to crank up the jet engines to full power. At the precise moment he released the brakes and the plane surged forward, as if on cue, a young boy seated behind me let out a yell, "Charge!" This shout of bravado and encouragement matched my emotion perfectly. For that brief moment, I thought of myself as a member of the Light Brigade, about to ride heroically into the jaws of . . . the unknown.

As we flew across the country, the pilot provided a running commentary, relaying our air speed and current location. We flew too high to see the landmarks he identified below, but we strained to see them. Was that the Mississippi? The relative lack of noise compared to piston-driven planes astounded me. We encountered some minor turbulence on three occasions during the five-hour flight, but it was the smoothest plane ride in my experience.

Actually, this was not my first encounter with jet flight. In 1947, while stationed at Ladd Field, Alaska, a P-80 Shooting Star jet fighter plane approached the runway on its first flight to the arctic, accompanied by an escort of two P-51 Mustangs. As the three planes flew by the control tower, just a few hundred feet above ground level, the P-80 pilot hit the jet engine throttle, and then pulled the plane straight up into the sky, leaving the escorts in its wake. In that flash of time, one could see that jets had made piston-driven engines obsolete.

Not every passenger enjoyed the flight. The editor of the Wall Street Journal, West Coast edition, sat next to me. He grumbled before, during and after takeoff. The airline had bumped him from first class, even though he had booked his flight months in advance in order to be aboard this first jet trip. He fumed when I told him that I had purchased my seat just a day earlier, and had no idea of its maiden status.

In 1966 my wife took our six children ages 1 to 9 to New York City (by herself) to visit relatives. The cost staggered us. I asked TWA for a discount because of my pioneer status with the airline. They told me, in polite terms, to ‘take a hike.’ The value of my inaugural flight status had declined faster than a jet zooming up on takeoff.

It’s regrettable that TWA folded before it could offer me a chance to be aboard its first flight to the moon. I need another egg timer.

Food fads come and go

Food fads come and go. Remember when energy drinks were the rage? The only one I see lately being pushed on TV is 5 Hour Energy. It brags about its four calories and no sugar and that it gives you a nice boost like a cup of coffee would except you can just down it out of the bottle and not have to mess with cups and coffee pots. Maybe that’s good for the kids who are ready to party on a Friday night and need that extra boost to get them to when the band starts but for me, I’ll stick with the good old cup of mud.

Energy drinks aren’t all that has been “faddish” reports Phil Hawkes of the AFMA Journal. In today’s hurry up society, bagged salads are expensive and popular since they cut down on preparation time for those who like the easy way out of cooking. Also, what’s with the sudden love of everything pomegranate? I love the ads with the half naked girl twisting her anguished body around a bottle of Pom but what is so great about that stuff? I’ve broken open a pomegranate and found nothing but a bunch of sour seeds inside. Maybe someone can explain this to me.

Now, there is a new kid on the block. Its Greek yogurt and its dollar sales were up 160% while unit sales were up 203% in 2010. Regular yogurt dollar sales were up 3% during that time with unit sales up only 1%. Besides that, Greek yogurt costs significantly more. Why is this happening?

As a long time yogurt eater I can say I like the Greek stuff better because of the more tart taste and its smooth, thicker, consistency. Non taste reasons are listed as double the protein of regular yogurt and 50% less sodium. That’s fine and I’m glad it is healthier, but taste is my number one priority and the Greek stuff has it.

There are several brands but the only one I have tried is Dannon and it is excellent. Phil Hawkes mentions other brands like Stonyfield, Fage, and Chobani. I understand that Trader Joe’s brand is excellent too. If you like yogurt, the Greek style is for you.

More food news from the AFMA: Did you know that “re-fried beans” is incorrect as a result of a translation error? They are actually only fried once. Frijoles refritos are well fried beans, not re-fried.

Did you know that the FDA allows 30 insect fragments or one rodent hair per 100 grams of peanut butter? Wow! I’ll bet that news has you rushing to the pantry to make a couple PBJ’s for lunch!

How about that Worcester sauce you like to spread on meats and other items. Did you know it is made from dissolved anchovies, bones and all? I guess if you like anchovies, it’s no big deal. If not, try to forget what you just read.

As for me, I guess I’ll stick with the pomegranates and yogurt.

Dad, me, and a '56 Chevy

I saw a 1956 black Chevrolet convertible go by today. It was a thing of beauty as it looked completely stock like the day it rolled off the assembly line fifty-five years ago. That car is a memory maker for me as I was 15 when it was built plus we had one in our family. It had a white top that gave it a classy look and was a stick shift with a “Power Pack” V8 engine. Needless to say, that baby would really go and it gave me chills when it whined through the gears. That’s a sound that has never been duplicated.

In June of 1956, my 19 year old brother drove that Chevy from Cincinnati to Albuquerque, New Mexico to visit some friends. Since he had flunked out of college, he was looking for something to do so he joined the Air Force while in Albuquerque leaving the car at the friend’s house. That made it up to my dad and me to go to Albuquerque to retrieve it.

Thus began a summer trip I will never forget. Even at 15 I had a bit of wanderlust in me and the thought of going all the way to New Mexico from Ohio had me on pins and needles. It was going to be just me and my dad heading west!

We caught the Santa Fe Super Chief train in Chicago which was exciting as hell with the dining car, a bedroom of our own, and the excitement of waking up the next morning and seeing Dodge City, Kansas.

After we got to Albuquerque and picked up the car, we headed east on Highway 66 for Chicago. I didn’t realize it at the time because there were no such thing as interstate highways, but I was riding on a road that would later become a legend and a historical attraction in many places as it wound northeast to Chicago. The diners, the bars, the motor lodges, and the gas stations were all part of the lore of Route 66 which would sadly become obsolete by the mid 1980s. But, who knew that in 1956? All I knew on those hot summer days was that I was 15 and my dad let me drive a ’56 Chevy halfway to Chicago. He was strictly old school and didn’t worry about me not having a driver’s license! What the hell, I was still a good driver!

When we reached Chicago, dad would spend the few days we were there at the horse racing track while I caught the “El” to either Comiskey Park or Wrigley Field to watch baseball. I felt like I was really cool for a 15 year old being allowed to run around Chicago on my own. But, my dad had grown up in an era where kids had that freedom so it was no big deal to him.

After those few days in Chicago, it was back to Cincinnati and reality. By September, I was back in high school but when I looked at my classmates, I smiled to myself feeling certain that none of them at age 15 that summer had driven a ’56 Chevy convertible up Route 66.

Camelback Mountain, Phoenix, AZ

I’ve had this photo (below, top photo) from the Library of Congress in my file for a while and thought I should post it to let you see what the area around Phoenix looked like in 1908. That is Camelback Mountain in the hazy background so using that as a bearing, you can pretty much figure out where the photographer may have been standing (click on photo for much better view). I would guess somewhere east of downtown Phoenix and in what there was of south Scottsdale or north Tempe at that early date.

In 1908, Teddy Roosevelt was still President, Barry Goldwater would not be born for another year, Carl Hayden was 31 years old, the canal built by William Murphy through Scottsdale was twenty-five years old, and the population of Phoenix was pushing 10,000. In 1911 the Roosevelt Dam was completed while in 1912 Arizona would become a state with its capitol Phoenix during the administration of William Howard Taft.

I wonder what those cowboys would have thought of all that happening so soon before and after this photo was taken. We have no documentation but some say the cowpoke on the horse in the foreground with the rope on the saddle is our own reader “TrailBoss”. He looks like he may have just had a cup of cowboy coffee while tending to the herd!

click on photo for better view of Camelback and TrailBoss. (Library of Congress)

Camelback Mountain, c. 1950 (DS Hinkle)

P. J. Crowley, Blockbuster

P.J. Crowley has resigned as the State Department spokesman adding to the growing list of those who have departed Obama’s administration. Crowley is dissatisfied with the treatment of document leaker Private Bradley Manning at the Marine Base in Quantico, Virginia according to a report from James Rosen of Fox News.

This isn’t a funny story but I thought this comment was funny if not a bit strange: “At least twice, Manning has been made to stand at attention in the nude at the front of his cell in the morning. Officials at Quantico declined to explain those measures, other than to say it was for his own protection.” Protection from what? I never could figure out the Marines!

BLOCKBUSTER BUSTED: This was not hard to predict. I’ve wondered how they held on this long after posting losses from last November to January of $65 million. They had their day though in the late 80s and into the 1990s when they wiped out the business of every poor independent guy trying to rent films.

As often happens quickly these days, someone came along with a better idea. That was Netflix, who starting in 1999 would allow customers to rent films which were then sent to them by mail. By 2005, there were also the Redbox kiosks in stores like Walgreen’s renting films for low prices.

There is a Blockbuster near me, or at least there was until a few weeks ago when they closed the store which was about 4,000 square feet. I was surprised it took them that long to shutter that dog with the rent they had to be paying. All that is left is the outline of the removed letters on the building.

Things happen fast in our society. With people downloading programs to their computers, can films being mailed by Netflix stay competitive? Will people still drive to Walgreen’s to use Redbox? I’m sure those companies are considering that in their business plans. If not, they can learn a lesson from former record and video stores who went out of business like Tower Records, Sam Goody, Musicland, and Peaches. It wasn’t long ago those stores had thriving locations in all the big malls. Have you seen one lately?

Every mall had a Sam Goody's

The electronics business is always in a growth mode. I’ve seen 8 millimeter silent home movies grow into VCR tapes, DVDs, DVRs and Blue Ray. I remember finally giving up my VCR and buying a DVD player at Circuit City (remember them?). I think that while I was driving home with it the DVR came out and made the DVD obsolete.

It’s the same with music. I remember 78 rpm records, 45’s, 33 1/3, cassettes, and CDs. I’ve heard CDs are now obsolete. Can someone please tell me how I would buy a single song now?

And then, there are TVs but let’s not even get into that. I have a bigger concern at the moment: What the hell is going to be the new name of Blockbuster Pavilion? It can't be Cricket Pavilion; it’s already been called that.

The Oscars, newspaper films

James Franco (Getty Images, Rick Rowell)

ACADEMY AWARDS: I don’t watch the Oscar telecasts anymore and apparently this year was a good year to be sure not to watch. Some guy I never heard of named James Franco was the host along with a gal who is a pretty good actress, Anne Hathaway. I hear that Hathaway gave it a good try but hosting awards shows doesn’t seem to be on her list of things she does well. The consensus was that Franco was terrible.

So, who is this guy? Time says he writes fiction, is working on a Ph. D from Yale, and has appeared on the soap “General Hospital”. When told the ratings for the Oscars were dismal, he replied, “You know what? If it’s the worst Oscar’s show ever, who cares?”

That’s a pretty cocky attitude from a guy who is basically a nobody who blew his chance for a great gig. I hope for his sake, he stays in school. He’s probably going to need that degree. Where the hell is Bob Hope when we need him?

I was looking over a list of past Oscar hosts and I would have to give David Letterman the booby prize as the worst I have seen. He hosted in 1994 and really laid an egg from the start with that silly “Uma-Oprah” nonsense trying to make a joke of the introduction of Uma Thurman and Oprah Winfrey to each other. It was embarrassing to watch but I think Letterman is always embarrassing and I wonder how he holds his late night job. If they want a late night host to do the Oscars, try Jimmy Kimmel, a guy who IS funny.

FINAL NOTE ON CHARLIE SHEEN: Charlie is getting his 15 minutes and then I think we will not see much more of him in anything noteworthy. Charlie says, “I’m tired of pretending I’m not special.” What a great line that is: Just think of what Dana Carvey could do with that as the church lady.

Charlie never was a BIG star. He milked his dad’s influence and because he was so adept at playing himself, made “Two and a Half Men” a hit. Now, he is pushing 50, appears to be strung out on that airline made of snow, and his prospects appear to be minimal. I love “Two and a Half Men” and hope he straightens out but I’m not holding my breath.

GREAT NEWSPAPER FILMS: Most of you know I love the films from the 1930s through the mid 1950s. I realize I am a member of a small group but there were some great films then especially about newspapers. “It Happened One Night” (1934) won all 5 major Oscar awards. In the 1940s it was “His Girl Friday” (1940) with Cary Grant. In the 1950s it was “Deadline USA” (1952) with Humphrey Bogart. Before you say, “Huh?” let me say that if you don’t enjoy the story, it’s still fun to see how newspapers operated in those eras. Check out TCM for running times.

As far as modern movies which involve newspapers, I hear “Iron Man 2” (2010) is pretty good. Has anyone seen that? If so, what did you think? IMDB gives it a 7.1 out of 10, not bad.

Walmart is losing customers

A recent AP article discusses how Walmart is missing out on the supposed consumer comeback. That’s quite a statement. Could it be that the public has grown tired of cheesy Walmart products coming from China? It didn’t seem to matter a couple of years ago that they had Christmas lights that exploded, low quality toothpaste, and toys painted with lead paint among other junk items.

I guess customers are wising up to bad quality, long lines, bad service, and out of stocks plus having to drive to get them. Or, maybe those photos of the “Walmartians” are legitimate after all. Those guys with high heels and dresses to complement their beards scare me!

The drop in sales at Walmart has been going on for about two years and possibly none of the above reasons have anything to do with it. Some blame mistakes in merchandising and pricing along with the financial stress on the many low income people who shop there. The holiday season was also lackluster and didn’t help much compared to business done at some competitors.

Walmart seems to be scrambling to restore a lot of the products they discontinued during the last year plus they have gone back to offering discounts across the store instead of using big discounts on selected items. It’s become a “whatever works” attitude as sales dropped 1.8% last year at the stores in the United States that have been open at least a year.

One more important factor in lower sales may be the changing habits of consumers. With gasoline prices skyrocketing, a lot of people are shopping closer to home, especially for essentials like bread and milk. Also, the rise of the dollar stores has to be a factor. Those places are everywhere and have a lot of nice stuff for a buck.

The changing consumer buying habits have also changed with the rise of Internet sales. I never leave my house to shop for Christmas items and plenty of other items too. The demise of Border’s Books was no surprise to me. Who wants to pay full price on a paperback or other book when they can save a trip, avoid lines, and buy it considerably lower on the Internet at places like Amazon with no shipping cost? But, Border’s has a coffee shop! That may have mattered a few years ago but not now. Can Barnes and Noble be next?

Today’s customers are buying closer to home and are only shopping when they really need things. Some of the things they may not need at this time are new electronic items. Ultimate Electronics found that out recently when they were forced to close their stores.

Guest writer Joe Finnerty speaks

On February 23, I wrote a column for the Scottsdale Republic reflecting on the challenges the newspaper business has faced since the introduction of radio in 1920. These challenges were not only from radio but from wire services, television, and now, the Internet. In spite of them, the hard copy newspaper still exists.

Mr. Joe Finnerty of Scottsdale was born in 1927 and at 83, has four great grandchildren. He also is a lifelong newspaper reader who has seen many changes in the newspaper business. This is a piece he wrote fifteen years ago relating to newspapers as he has seen them through the years.

I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE by Joe Finnerty

Years ago I subscribed to both the Arizona Republic and the Scottsdale Progress, the former a morning edition, the latter a late afternoon publication. The Mesa Tribune acquired the Scottsdale Progress, renamed it the Scottsdale Tribune, and began dropping many of the editorial columnists I liked to read. Then, it switched to become a morning newspaper. I found two to be too many, and set about trying to determine which subscription to cancel.

It proved to be a difficult choice to make. I liked many of the Tribune’s features, especially its New York Times crossword puzzles. However, I found that the coverage provided by the Scottsdale section of the Republic, published every Wednesday, more than met my need to find out about my fair city. That made my decision easier to make. I canceled my subscription to the Tribune, with some second thoughts.

Selecting which of two papers to spurn is akin to choosing between a spouse and a mistress. They both have their unique appeal. It is possible I will renew my subscription to the Tribune if my lust for it becomes unbearable.

Growing up in Metropolitan New York provided me with ample opportunity to evaluate newspapers. I had my choice of the following: The New York Times; Herald Tribune; Journal American; World-Telegram; Daily News; Daily Mirror; Brooklyn Eagle; New York Post; Jersey Observer; Hudson Dispatch; and a few more.

In my grade school years, my mother chose to read the Daily Mirror because it arrived at our candy store minutes before the Daily News. This gave her a head start in reviewing the horseracing program for the following day, information vital to her economic well-being. On summer nights, while people sat on apartment stoops, my mother would send me across the street with a nickel in hand. This provided sufficient capital to buy the Mirror, a real cigarette for her, and a candy one for me. Pleasures were inexpensive back then.

I came to love that paper because it had wonderful coverage of New York's myriad sports teams and the best comic strips, including Dick Tracy. I learned important news by reading Walter Winchell, the quintessential gossip guru. The front page carried screaming headlines and pictures of gore and blood, with details on page three.

After college, I began commuting via subway to my job in lower Manhattan and began to consider other possible newspaper choices. I tried them all, at one time or another. Gradually, I came to favor the Times. The crossword puzzles captured my attention more than the editorial page.

The convenient size of the News, Post, and Mirror made them easy to read in a crowded subway and accounted for their popularity then and to this day. In contrast, it took skill to fold the other papers down to a manageable size for reading while standing in a moving railcar, hanging on to a strap, crushed in by a crowd of other riders. Many of them cared little which paper they read as long as they could pick up a discarded one. No class, dat's what some of dem New Yorkers ain't got.

I bought both the Times and the American on Sunday. The Times had all the heavy stuff, whereas the American had the funnies. I figure the Times cost me a lot of extra dough over the years by refusing to print comic strips. I called them the “American" and the "Un-American." I would purchase both after attending church. Occasionally, for some reason or other, the candy store would run out of Sunday papers. I would go ape. How could a citizen enjoy a Sunday without a paper? I would trek around Hoboken to see if I could buy one elsewhere, but this added inconvenience made the papers less interesting. It spoiled the whole ritual. As a last resort, to guarantee availability, I began pre-paying for them.

In my late twenties, I moved to the San Francisco Bay area. There, I soon discovered I had few choices when it came to newspapers. I subscribed to both the San Francisco Chronicle and the San Mateo Times. One was a morning paper, the other an evening edition. However, it took quite a while for me to get used to them. They did not compare favorably with New York’s papers. I thought the editorials and the columnists were less than first rate. It took years to overcome my bias toward the New York papers.

For a while, I continued to subscribe to the Sunday New York Times, but the cost was too prohibitive for my purse and I had to drop my subscription. I never renewed it. I had access to another worthwhile paper to fill the void.

During my working years in Arizona, my employer paid for my subscription to the Wall Street Journal. I paid for my own subscription for a few years after I retired, but my enthusiasm for reading financial stories dwindled. Articles covering the state of the copper market, for example, no longer seemed of vital interest to me.

The public criticizes newspapers for what they print, or how they report the news. Many readers notice and complain about the numerous spelling and grammatical errors which appear with some regularity. Just a few days ago a feature editorial in the Republic read, "taking it to this plain" when the spelling should have been "plane" for all to see. I sympathize, however, because the relentless pressure to meet press deadlines, day after day, week after week, must be nail biting. It is a tough business.

The biggest advantage to dropping my subscription to the Scottsdale Progress is the reduction in trash. As it turns out, my recycle container is barely large enough to hold my weekly toss-outs. If the Republic would tailor the paper to meet my specific criteria, it would please me. I would prefer never to receive the Sunday want-ads, for instance, which I deep-six upon delivery.

Newspapers are folding faster than I could fold them while riding the Hudson Tubes. Struggling to print all the news that’s fit to print on paper, they are switching to an electronic format. While the day is not far off when a computer network will be able to provide me with a newspaper matching my specific interests, I will not subscribe. Who wants a computer in the bathroom?

Charlie Harper is Charlie Sheen

I really enjoy the TV sitcom “Two and a Half Men”. Reruns are usually shown for one to two hours a night on the FX channel. I can honestly say that I usually laugh from beginning to end at the antics of Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, Angus T. Jones and the rest of the cast.

Unfortunately, after nine seasons of success with the show, Charlie has decided to become difficult. Translated, that probably means that at his $1.8 million per episode he feels like he has enough leverage to start calling the show’s creator, Chuck Lorre, a “maggot” and “a hymie”.

Charlie apparently has a drug problem which has seen him make the news several times for destroying hotel rooms among other forms of bad behavior. On his behalf, the head of CBS Television, Nina Tassler, says that in spite of his behavior he has always showed up for work on time and known his lines. However, because of his recent outburst aimed at Lorre, the final eight episodes of the show have been canceled.

It’s a shame Sheen has gone off the deep end but some experts claim it is not atypical behavior for someone with a drug addiction problem. When Charlie was younger he was a big time party boy. A lot of us were too although we probably were not in his league. Plus, in most cases we grew out of the party mode and went on with our lives. Not Charlie Sheen, he is now 45 and hitting the skids hotter and heavier than ever. Besides his role on “Two and a Half Men” he may lose a movie part in an upcoming production of the “Major League” film series where he plays pitcher “Wild Thing”. Executives now doubt whether they want the troubled star.

Charlie Sheen was born in Dayton, Ohio and lived there until his father moved to California. While living in Dayton he became a Cincinnati Reds baseball fan as Dayton was a short interstate drive north of Cincinnati.

By the early 90’s, Charlie had the big bucks and loved to throw parties for the Reds’ players when they came to California. One of those parties was after the Reds won the 1990 World Series. The other was in 1992 and, according to one unnamed Reds’ player, was quite a wild affair. He mentioned that two topless women attended and the alcohol flowed freely. The players also traveled to the party in a fleet of stretch limos that Sheen sent to their hotel.

The Reds’ player was amazed at Sheen’s Malibu home saying it had three decks with a fountain Jacuzzi on the top deck supplying water to the other two. That Charlie was quite the guy at 27! He still is at 45.

If you watch “Two and a Half Men” you probably notice that Charlie Harper on the show is actually living the lifestyle of Charlie Sheen. It’s no wonder Sheen plays the part so well: Harper IS Charlie Sheen.

I got 57 channels and nothin' on....."

I upgraded my cable a few months ago to about 400 channels and I still don’t have much on. For some unknown reason, I saved $5 a month by EXPANDING my service.

When I called Cox Cable initially, I inquired about how I could receive the Fox Business Channel. The representative told me “no problem” and when I asked him how much more it would cost, he said he could give me a few more tiers of programming along with Fox Business and it would save me $5. Since I believe the old saying about not looking a gift horse in the eye, I took the offer and hung up before he could change his mind.

With the competition among the satellite dish companies, the phone companies, and the cable companies, I think it is pretty easy to get deals these days. It is a buyer’s market now and may become more of one as many people are streaming shows through their computers now. Plus, as Bruce said in 1992, he had 57 channels and nothin’ was on. That was a lot of nothing for that year and it is a lot more now.

For example, how many of you watch any of the three C-Span channels? Hallmark Channel? Lifetime? Oxygen? SoapNet? Or those shopping channels? That’s what I thought. We are all paying for that stuff and never watch it. Why can’t cable companies let us go a la carte and buy what we want? I know that is rhetorical as we are stuck with those channels because they make the cable guys money.

A recent survey showed that between 7:00 a.m. and 10:00 a.m. channels like the Golf Channel, TV Guide Channel, and BBC America receive less than 0.1 per cent of households that have those stations available. A TV writer for a Midwest newspaper lists the following channels as the “10 least wanted channels” on cable TV. These channels have been on the air at least three years and these numbers indicate their average nightly prime time audience during the last quarter of 2010:

Current (18,000 households), DIY, 80,000, ESPN Classic, 19,000, Fox Soccer Channel, 33,000, GAC, 49,000, LOGO, 39,000, Outdoor, 46,000, RFD TV, 56,000, Sleuth, 81,000, VH1 Classic, 31,000.

I’ve never heard of five of those channels. They are only taking up space but we are stuck with them. There is a lot of back scratching in that business and I’m sure those channels piggy back their way on to systems.

So, what comes next? I watched a 1997 film the other night called “Jackie Brown”. In that film there was a scene in a music store and they had shelves full of cassette tapes. The cars looked old fashioned too compared to now even though now is only 14 years later. Change comes fast these days.

Cable TV is cumbersome and they are wheeling and dealing. Look for some drastic changes soon.

Olbermann on cable's bottom rung

Keith Olbermann

Poor Keith Olbermann. He never realized it but when he teamed up with Dan Patrick years ago on ESPN’s Sportscenter, he probably reached the zenith of his career. When he switched to MSNBC to become a liberal political commentator he probably figured he was on his way to fame and fortune and leading the charge against Fox News. It hasn’t happened and probably never will.

Keith has been canned at MSNBC where his final show on January 21 drew 1,106,000 viewers. That’s not too bad for a low rated channel but is still just 1/3 of the viewers of Bill O’Reilly and less than ½ of Sean Hannity’s audience at Fox. However, Olbermann’s numbers are about 200,000 more than his replacement, Lawrence O’Donnell.

Now Keith will try out his act at Current TV. Who is Current TV you ask? It’s a small public affairs cable channel that includes Al Gore as one of its backers.

To put things in perspective, Olbermann’s initial employer, ESPN, is the number one cable network drawing an average of 2,683,000 households in prime time. MSNBC draws about 1,500,000. Current draws 18,000. These are nightly averages from the fourth quarter of 2010 as reported by Aaron Barnhart of the Kansas City Star.

To give you an idea of how low a number 18,000 households is, the CW channel plays on fewer cable systems with shows like reruns of “The King of Queens” yet it outdraws Current which is the least watched channel that the Nielsen ratings follow.

Olbermann has a chance to sink or swim on Current. Will his one million viewers follow him if they can even find him? Surely he can boost the ratings above 18,000 households at least for one hour, but will it be enough? We shall see but one thing is for sure: He can’t sink much lower unless he becomes a spokesman for the fireplace channel.

Cable TV is a strange duck. There are many channels that have no business being carried by any system. However, strong ratings channels like ESPN, ABC, and others are able to use their leverage to coattail some of their weaker channels into the fold. Do we really need ESPN Classic or the Do It Yourself network? How about VH1 Classic, Fox Soccer Channel, and the Outdoor Network? No one watches them but they are attached to their big brothers as part of the deal.

Another mystery about cable is why doesn’t anyone give the world news station Al-Jazeera English a shot? It’s one of the most watched news networks in the world but can’t even get a trial run here. Barnhart reports that during the Egyptian crisis, 7 million Americans watched it streamed through their computer but the cable companies say there is no demand. Maybe not or maybe they are concerned about a controversy since it is an Arab channel.

Maybe Al-Jazeera can sneak on a system somewhere if they hire Olbermann after he and Al Gore get into a fight and Keith goes job hunting again

Partying in the '70s, part 2: one hit wonders

Jimi Hendrix in 1967. He died at 27 in 1970.

It makes my eyes well up a bit when I remember some of the great songs from the 1970s that were one hit wonders.

Woodstock in 1969 signaled the end of an era that brought us The Beatles, The Stones, Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, and many others. By 1970, The Beatles had split up (Thanks, Yoko!) and Joplin and Hendrix were dead. Music was changing, guys were shaving again, and women went back to wearing bras. The Stones and Rod Stewart survived but by 1977 had done a couple disco songs!

Every era has had its one hit wonders but some of them in the 70s surprised me as they were good songs from good bands or individuals that gave every indication they would offer more after their initial success.

From 1970, there was Norman Greenbaum with Spirit in the Sky, a great tune that you still hear today as background in films and commercials. Then there is Mountain with Mississippi Queen, a great grinder of a tune that sounded better with each additional Budweiser you choked down. Also, from ‘70 was All Right Now by Free with lead singer Paul Rodgers who would eventually work with Queen after Freddy Mercury died.

In 1971, Brewer and Shipley from the Midwest hit with One Toke Over the Line. Who can forget Hold Your Head Up from Argent in 1972? Brother Louie from Stories in 1973, Rock and Rolll Hootchie Koo by Rick Derringer in 1974, Never Been Any Reason by Head East in 1975, A Fifth of Beethoven by Walter Murphy and The Big Apple Band in 1976, Jeans On David Dundas, 1977, I Love the Nightlife, Alicia Bridges, 1978, and in an indication of things to come there was Video Killed the Radio Star by The Buggles in 1979.

If you are a certain age you probably danced to these songs more than once during the 1970s. Barb and I had a favorite club in Kansas City called The Attic which always had great bands and cold beer. After closing time, I would always stop at a little bar on Westport Road on our way to Kansas and pick up a couple of 6 packs of Falstaff for Sunday. No Sunday sales in those days.

Somehow, I survived that lifestyle and am living to write about it. Would I do it over again? Sure!

Partying in the 1970s

Barb and I went out the other night with our next door neighbors visiting from Illinois. We went to a nice Italian restaurant in Carefree (that’s in Arizona if you are from out of the state or country). After feeling a nice little buzz from a couple glasses of Merlot, I found myself reminiscing about the many times Barb and I painted the town on a Saturday night back in Kansas City during our early years of marriage in the 1970s.

If you were too young to have enjoyed that era, you missed a lot of fun. We used to go at it one or two ways on Saturday night: Sometimes I would fire up the charcoal grill (no fancy gas grills for us) and grill a couple of thick steaks nice and rare. We would have those with a bottle of cold duck or sparkling burgundy while we watched “All in the family”, Mary Tyler Moore”, and “The Bob Newhart Show” on our 10” GE color television.

That would take us to about 9:30 and since we never wanted to waste the nice buzz from the wine, it would be time for a shower together (saving water) after which we would head over to Kansas City, Missouri from our home in Kansas to some clubs. After Missouri closed at 1:00 it was time to head back to the afterhours clubs in Kansas. Needless to say there was a lot of drinking and driving in those days but somehow we made it through without incident although I’ll never know how. "Shit faced" only begins to describe it.

The second way to go out was similar to the first only we went out to dinner and missed the TV shows. Tough luck in those days; no VCRs to record them. I hated to miss MTM, Mr. Grant, Rhoda and the still vibrant Betty White. After dinner it was off to the clubs again and another long night as mentioned above. We sure piled up the miles on our 1970 Ford Fairlane!

Eating and drinking out was a lot different then. There were no designated drivers; EVERYBODY drank and drank a lot. Beef was what it was all about in restaurants; fish got to live long lives. It was thick, rare steaks, baked potatoes, and the inevitable salad bar which I hated. If you wanted to see people “pig out”, salad bars were for you.

Another feature that drew people to the bars was happy hour. They still exist but are nothing like in the 70s where it was big time competition among bars to get people soused at 5:00 in the afternoon. Remember the Steak and Ale restaurants? They used to have 3 for 1 during happy hour and the drinks were strong. I almost fainted on 3 martinis one day but it felt great. “Now, just where did I leave my car? (hic!) Oh, yeah, there it is!” Vroooooom. I’ll never know how Barb drank 3 grasshoppers!

The 70s were a fun time and I’m glad I survived them.

Since you have probably been wondering for the last few minutes what cold duck was I’ll tell you. It was half champagne and half sparkling burgundy. Andre sold it for a buck a 5th.

Miscellaneous ramblings

Do you wonder why you don’t see kids playing outside anymore? A Kaiser Family Foundation study found that kids 8 to 18 spend each day with 4.5 hours watching TV, 2.5 hours listening to music, 30 minutes on a cell phone, 1.3 hours on video games, 1.5 hours texting, and 1.5 hours of nonschool computer use. Add sleeping and school and there isn’t much time for doing much else. Kids are hooked on technology and many have lost their ability to have meaningful face to face conversations. They’ll never know the fun of catching fireflies and playing hide and seek. (They may not miss fireflies in AZ; I've never seen one here, plenty in Ohio though)

On last November 28, actor and Paradise Valley resident Leslie Nielsen died at age 84. On October 16, actress Barbara Billingsley died at 94. Both had a link to the 1980 spoof film classic “Airplane” where they played completely against type. Nielsen was usually the handsome first or second lead in films or TV. Billingsley was the straight laced mom June Cleaver in the 50’s TV series “Leave it to Beaver.” In “Airplane”, she was a jive talking grandmother. Nielsen went comic with his role as the staid Dr. Rumack. Surely they will both be missed to which Nielsen would probably reply “Don’t call me Shirley!”

Barbara Billingsley (AP)

Freeman Gosden (L) and Charles Corell in blackface doing "Amos 'n' Andy. (below) The show was so popular that movie theaters would delay film start times so customers could hear the nightly 15 minute show on radio.

January contains two dates three days apart that had important effects on the Black community. On January 15, 1929, civil rights leader Martin Luther King was born. On January 12, 1926, “Sam and Henry”, a humorous show dealing with Blacks who had migrated from the South to Chicago, made its radio debut. King became famous as a civil rights leader. “Sam and Henry” evolved into “Amos ‘n’ Andy”, one of the most popular shows in radio history. George Bernard Shaw once said “There are three things I’ll never forget about America: the Rocky Mountains, Niagara Falls, and “Amos ‘n’ Andy”.

There are many ways to receive entertainment and connect with friends so I wonder if anyone listens to AM radio anymore. AM began in 1920 and was the rage among kids and adults. By 1922, Phoenix had its first station which in 1929 became KTAR under ownership of The Arizona Republic. Today, AM is primarily talk radio or a ball game broadcast in the background but in the 1920’s, it ruled the entertainment business and was an important part of the Jazz Age.

McDonald's here and there

Phil Hawkes of the AFMA Journal tells of some things about McDonald’s restaurants that I didn’t know and you probably didn’t know either.

If you eat at a Mickey D’s outside the U. S., don’t expect the menu to be the same as here. In fact, in some cases, don’t expect it to even be edible based on American tastes. Also, with all their success, the golden arches have fallen on their faces a few times. That’s hard to believe based on their success but nobody is perfect.

Here are some of the goodies you would find outside the good old USA:

In Germany, you may enjoy the “Big Rosti”: It’s a burger patty, potato pancake, bacon, cheese, and cheese sauce on a bacon cheese bun. You may want to have an ambulance waiting in the parking lot after eating that concoction.

In Taiwan, it’s the Rice Burger. It has a burger patty but instead of a regular bun the meat is placed between two rice cakes. It’s probably healthier for you but tastes as exciting as a can of Slim Fast.

In Canada, French fries are served covered in gravy and cheese curds. Once again, have the ambulance ready.

In the Philippines, you could order the McDon. It doesn’t sound disgusting, just boring. It’s a fried chicken leg on top of spaghetti.

In Japan, you can get a Baked Potato Pie. The best way to describe it is that it looks like the fried apple pie you get in the U.S except it has a filling of baked potato and bacon instead of apples.

As far as flops in the USA, you may remember some of these. If you don’t, be glad. You didn’t miss anything worthwhile.

Remember the Hulaburger? It was introduced in 1963 as an item for Catholics who didn’t eat meat on Friday. It was a cheeseburger except it had a slice of pineapple subbing for the meat. Yum!

The McLean Deluxe Burger was introduced as a low fat dietary item. They took the fat out of the meat and replaced it with water. To make the meat retain the water, they added seaweed. Double yum! There is no word yet on whether they caught the guy who invented this taste catastrophe.

Another flop was the Arch Deluxe. It was introduced in 1996 as a “hamburger for adults.” It was like a quarter pounder but it had bacon, cheese, lettuce, tomato, ketchup, and a mustard-mayo sauce. It wasn’t bad but people were resentful of the high price plus there were numerous complaints from consumer groups about the health aspect.

McDonald’s has come a long way since founder Ray Kroc sold those malt mixers to the McDonald Brothers in San Bernardino back in the 1950s. They have had their successes and failures and I agree with most of them except the McRib sandwich. They keep bringing that thing back. I guess someone likes it!

"The Twilight Zone"

Rod Serling puffing on an Oasis. They were to be his downfall.

My 5 top Twilight Zone episodes (in no particular order)

1. “The Invaders” (1961) starring Agnes Moorehead.
2. “The After Hours” (1960) starring recently deceased Ann Francis
3. “A Stop at Willoughby” (1960) starring James Daly
4. “A Hundred Yards over the Rim” (1961) Starring Cliff Robertson
5. “The Shelter” (1961) starring Jack Albertson

Honorable mention: “Nightmare at 20,000 Feet” (1963) starring William Shatner when he was a serious actor. It’s not a great episode but it’s fun to look at all the men passengers on the airplane in suits and ties and smoking. Plus, Shatner has a gun in his possession! Sorry, I don’t have a link to this one.

“The Twilight Zone” was a classic. As many times as I have seen all the episodes, I never tire of the plot twists that Rod Serling came up with.

If you have the time, click the above links for these shows. They are complete episodes from IMDB.

Graeter's Ice Cream, Skyline Chili

They have been making this stuff since 1870 and have numerous ice cream parlors located throughout the Cincinnati area. It also was the winner of a recent "Food Feud" on the Food Network.

Graeter’s Ice Cream from Cincinnati is the best I have ever eaten. They use the highest quality ingredients available and combine them in a “French Pot” process that makes for a great product.

None of us were born yesterday so you know that such a process is not going to be happening at a low cost. Graeter’s sells for $4.99 a pint at Fry’s in Scottsdale. That’s a hell of a lot more than the $3 to $4 you may pay for 1½ quarts of private label ice cream at a supermarket near you. Plus, the cheaper stuff is pretty darn good. I buy Safeway’s brand all the time and like it very much. But, good as it is, it isn’t Graeters.

I suggest you try a pint and let me know what you think. Fry’s carries vanilla, black raspberry chocolate chip, vanilla chocolate chip, cocoanut chocolate chip, chocolate-chocolate chip, mocha, mint chocolate chip.

Speaking of Cincinnati, Skyline Chili is also available in cans at Fry’s for $3.95. This stuff is great over spaghetti with some grated sharp cheddar on top. That concoction is called a 3 way and if you want to make it really exciting, add chopped onions for a 4 way or kidney beans AND onions to make it a 5 way. It’s also great to spoon over chili dogs (Coney Islands).

Every city has their own particular taste for local foods. In New York, Pizza rules, in Phoenix its great Mexican food, Philadelphia has their cheese steaks, and Kansas City their barbecue. It’s different everywhere. So, if you try some Skyline Chili and Graeter’s ice Cream, I hope you like it.

"Reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet"

Luckies green were pre WWII. Luckies red and white were introduced in 1942 after "Lucky Strike green goes to war." They were thought to be more "female friendly." (American Tobacco Co.)


We think there are a lot of con men around today but they are probably a small group compared to the guys who were in the advertising and promotion business of the 1920s.

That decade wasn’t called “The Roaring ‘20s” for nothing. It was a post WWI party for ten years that contributed greatly to the worst Depression in the history of the United States. Every night was party night and Prohibition only added to the fun with the characters it wrought. It also was the first decade of commercial radio which spawned a new generation of con artists with what we would consider today as outlandish advertising.

The number one guy in that group and probably the most successful was the head of the American Tobacco Company, George Washington Hill. Flamboyant and brilliant only begins to describe this guy who would ride to his Fifth Avenue office daily in a limo decorated with Lucky Strike cigarette packages.

Hill took over the company from his father in 1926 and was totally sold on radio as an advertising tool. Until radio, advertising was done in print but in 1928, Hill dropped all print ads and replaced them with a radio show called the “Lucky Strike Dance Hour.” Within two months, sales of Lucky Strike cigarettes went up 47%.

One day Hill looked out his limo window and saw two women standing at a bus stop. One was overweight and chewing gum. The other was thin and beautiful and smoking a cigarette. A light bulb lit in Hill’s head: women smokers were considered modern and daring in the 1920s but there were still millions of women who didn’t smoke. However, like today, most women were very conscious of their weight. That was the group Hill went after with his slogan, “Reach for a Lucky instead of a sweet.” The candy makers were livid but sales of Lucky Strikes shot up again.

Other gimmicks like “It’s Toasted” and “LS/MFT” (Lucky Strike means fine tobacco) sold plenty of Lucky Strikes but probably his most creative idea was early in WWII when he was told that the green ink on the Lucky Strike package had to be discontinued because the chromium in the ink was needed for the production of tanks.

Hill was never one to pass up an opportunity to peddle more Luckies, so he redesigned the package to be white with a red and black bull’s eye. At the same time, he advertised that the discontinued green package was helping the troops and that “Lucky Strike green has gone to war.” It was a brilliant patriotic line that sold a lot of cigarettes but many people also thought it was just another way to sell more Luckies as Hill wanted a newly designed package anyway to lure more women to smoking.

He may have been a con artist but no one can doubt the success of George Washington Hill as a superb salesman and a true character from yesterday.

Common sense, political correctness

Common sense can’t be learned. You either walk out into the rain or you take an umbrella. Those who do the former are the same people who think it makes perfect sense to type messages to their friends on a cell phone while driving a car. They will always do it (unless they are killed in the process) and the non umbrella users will always get soaked. Neither party “gets it.”

The latest person to join the list is a car salesman in Chicago who wore a Green Bay Packers tie to work Monday after the Chicago Bears lost to the Packers the day before in the NFC Conference Championship Game. The car dealer is a sponsor of Bears’ games and most of his customers are huge Bears’ fans so what was this guy thinking? I know what his boss was thinking after he probably blinked a few times in disbelief while looking at the dreaded Packers tie: “You’re outta here!” The guy probably crossed the street on a red light as he was headed to the bus stop afterward.

The insanity of political correctness: So, here we go with the latest example of jumping to conclusions.

Congresswoman Giffords was shot by an insane guy working on his own and suddenly any kind of terminology concerning weapons is becoming politically incorrect. The other day I saw a wimp talking head on CNN named John King apologize because a guest used one of these now forbidden terms.

King’s guest was a guy named Andy Shaw of the Better Government Association, whatever that is. Shaw used the term “in the crosshairs” while he and King discussed the mayoral race in Chicago.

A few minutes later, King was apologizing for the dreaded “in the crosshairs” term just like the politically correct little liberal he is. Watch this (0.24) if you would like a good laugh.

Based on CNN’s attitude, I guess Target Stores better change their name, Steve Nash better stop taking “shots” at the basket, you can’t collect sea “shells”, and during elections there will no longer be “battleground” states. Let’s not forget those “bullets” used in typing to indicate certain important items, no one should be the “butt” of jokes since rifles have butts, and whatever you do, don’t put an ink “cartridge” in your printer.

This is what we have to put up with today, folks. Don’t allow it, use those supposed offending terms daily plus the many others that accompany them. We still have free speech in this country and I defy any politically correct group to try and change that.