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Monday, January 16, 2017

SMARTPHONES COULD BE RUINING YOUR LOVE LIFE! YIKES!!

I think the following column by Professor James A. Roberts of Baylor University is interesting.  I do not own a smartphone simply because I don’t think I would ever use it.  I have an old flip cell phone which is a convenient dust gatherer so I doubt if I need it or anything even more sophisticated.  I certainly don’t feel any need to be “phubbed” by a smartphone as I have seen enough bad manners for a lifetime just by the way people use the old fashioned cell phone which is now a member of the bad manners hall of fame.
How do you feel about Smartphone etiquette?  Leave comments below.  JM
SMARTPHONES COULD BE RUINING YOUR LOVE LIFE
By James A. Roberts, Baylor University
The majority of our relationships are in shambles.
The U.S. divorce rate hovers at 40 per cent but that’s not the whole story. Many intact relationships are on life support. According to a survey by the National Opinion Research Center, 60 percent of people in a relationship say they’re not very satisfied. There are some familiar culprits: money problems, bad sex, and kids.  But there’s a new relationship buster: the smartphone.
My colleague Meredith David and I recently conducted a study that explored just how detrimental smartphones can be to relationships.
We zeroed in on measuring something called “phubbing” (a fusion of “phone” and “snubbing”). It’s how often your romantic partner is distracted by his or her smartphone in your presence. With more and more people using the attention-siphoning devices -  the typical American checks his or her smartphone every 6 ½ minutes, or roughly 150 times each day – phubbing has emerged as a real source of conflict. For example, in one study, 70 percent of participants said that phubbing hurt their ability to interact with their romantic partners.
Most know what it’s like to be phubbed: You’re in the middle of a passionate screed only to realize that your partner’s attention is elsewhere. But you’ve probably also been a perpetrator, finding yourself drifting away from a conversation as you scroll through your Facebook feed.
In our study, we wanted to know the implications of this interference.
We surveyed 175 adults in romantic relationships from across the United States and had them fill out our questionnaire. We had them complete a nine-item Partner Phubbing Scale that measured how often some felt “phubbed” by his or her partner’s smartphone use.
Sample questions included “My partner places his or her smartphone where they can see it when we are together” and “my partner uses his or her smartphone when we are out together.”
Survey participants also completed a scale that measured how much smartphone use was a source of conflict in their relationships. Participants also completed a scale that measured how satisfied they were with their current relationship, how satisfied they were with their lives and if they were depressed.
We found that smartphones are real relationship downers – up there with money, sex and kids.
People who reported being at the receiving end of phubbing also reported higher levels of conflict over smartphone use than those who reported less phubbing. Not surprisingly, higher levels of smartphone-related conflict reduced levels of relationship satisfaction.
Something as seemingly innocent as using a smartphone in the presence of a romantic partner undermined the quality of the relationship. This can create a domino effect: As our study also showed, when we’re not happily in love, we are also less likely to be satisfied, overall, with life. We’re also more likely to report that we are depressed.
Why, might you ask, does partner phubbing wreak such havoc between romantic partners?
At least two possible explanations for such relationship tumult exist. The “Displacement Hypotheses” suggests that time spent on smartphones displaces (or reduces) more meaningful interactions with your lover, weakening the relationship. I call a second theory “Smartphone Conflict theory.”  Simply put, the device is a source of conflict and leads to fighting. Fights, of course, can only serve to undermine your satisfaction with your partner and the relationship.
So what can we take away from all of this? Even if we act like it’s no big deal, it still stings whenever we’re phubbed by our romantic partner. In a sense, our romantic partners are choosing their phone over us.

We probably feel a little less important and the relationship feels a little less secure.

28 comments:

Jim McAllister said...

Have you been "Phubbed" lately? Oh, the horror! Please rate your experience. I'll bet you can't find "phubbed" in your Funk and Wagnalls!

Jim McAllister said...

No problem here with Smartphones. Chemo did what the phones did not have a chance to do.

All is well here except I’m still trying to convince Don he is an idiot of the first magnitude. He still thinks Obama’s economy is good, only because all he reads is the leftist shit.

Happy New Year to you.

Jim Johnson

Jim McAllister said...

Hi Jim,

Same here, I son't have a smartphone either. If I thought I needed one I would get it but I guess I'm not totally up to speed yet on the bad manners that they portray.

As far as Don, I haven't seen him in years but I'm sure you are correct in that he is still an idiot.

I'm looking forward to seeing the Hell's Angels bust the heads on those dumb ass liberals at Trump's inauguration.

Mike Slater said...

Jim, I still have a flip phone. I make calls and get call and that's all I need. Deb has a Smartphone that I'd like to run over with my car. She's always playing with the damn thing and even takes it to bed with her.

Can't wait for Friday when Trump will be president and the Obama's will be gone.

Jim McAllister said...

Mike,

All we have is the flip phone other than the standard land line in the house. Barb carries it only for possible emergencies and that is about it. I can't remember the last time we used it. It only costs $15 a month so it is good for Barb if she ever has car trouble or something I guess. If I was still working in sales I would probably have something a bit more sophisticated but at this time don't need it.

I just shake my head at all the people I see who can't put their smartphones down. I have better things to do than play with a phone all day. It sounds like Deb's phone needs to get lost under the back tire of your truck. It makes me wonder what all these people did with their time before the damn things were invented.

Mike Slater said...

Jim, I got rid of my land line about 4 years ago even though I got it free because I retired from the phone company. I don't miss it at all especially around election time.

My flip phone is 10 years old and I only charge it every two weeks. I guess I'm a low tech man in a high tech world.

Jim McAllister said...

Mike,

We still have a land line although I don't know why. Probably because it's the number all Barb's girlfriends have and the cost is tied into our Cox Cable bill so I don't notice it.

I'm with you on the low tech. I don't carry a phone; that's Barb's duty. I wish they would have been around in the 70's and 80's when I was a peddler. They would have been a lot more handy than searching for pay phones located in quiet areas. I remember what a luxury it was when they got drive up phones in Kansas City. I could talk to customers in a nice warm car in the winter!

nativekentuckian said...

Hi Jim!

Hope 2017 is being good to you and Barb......can't complain here so far....lol.....My lovelife went to heck in a handbasket once I bought the dumbphone that I haven't figured out how to use yet.....of course it was non-existent before I bought it.....I keep it turned off to see if it will get better (the lovelife)....but so far...it is the same as before the purchase....lol.....Hoping for a change after Jan 20th....SW

Jim McAllister said...

Hi Sonny,

It seems like everyone is constantly on their supposed "smartphones." I guess I am old fashioned; I have no desire to own one since I'm not sure why I would need it anyway. Getting old I guess; I don't see many uses for all the modern communications. If I was still chasing the ladies it might be a different story.

What's happening after January 20? Sounds like there may be a lady involved! If so, good luck. Barb and I have been lucky. We met after I got out of the Air Force in Sept. '65, got married in August '67 and here we are with number 50 coming up this year!

Taker care; best to Leon.

Steve Kloscak said...


I had a flip phone too, but the battery wouldn't hold a charge anymore. So I decided to get a smartphone instead of paying for a new battery. I got a good deal on a smartphone for 60 bucks. I wouldn't spend the money for an iphone, over priced crap. Ridiculous what people pay for phones these days.

So anyway I can check email and go online from my phone. Its worth it for what I paid.

Jim McAllister said...

$60 sounds like a good deal, Steve. I can see the advantages to smartphones; constant information all the time but like most new things that come down the pike, people seem obsessed by them. They are more like a drug to many as they can never quit observing them. I laugh when I see someone so obsessed they walk into something while looking at the phone.

When I was a peddler, a smartphone would have really come in handy when I was searching for a pay phone in the middle of Missouri or Kansas to call in an order for a customer. It was mostly dial pay phones in those days.

Mike Slater said...

Jim, what a great day. The Obama's are gone. Now we can have some class back in the White House.

Jim McAllister said...

Mike,

It's like a weight being taken off our backs now that Trump is in. It's good to see that the voters came to their senses and shunned Hillary.

As far as Obama and his loser wife, good riddance to them. They will just go down as an 8 year mistake.

Steve Kloscak said...



Yes! A GREAT DAY FOR AMERICA!
That dumbass is finally gone..

Jim McAllister said...

Steve,

It's wonderful to not have to look at the jerk anymore.

I see now where the women of the world are marching against Trump because they are afraid of his stance on women. Something seems contrived here. It appears that Hillary might be involved. Not exactly a shock. She never gives up. Tough shit for her; he won, she lost, end of story.

As far as I'm concerned he won the election and if they don't like it let them vote him out in 4 years.

Mike Slater said...

Jim, I watched some of the women's march on Saturday. I've never seen so many butt ugly women losers in my life. They say they were marching for women's rights. What rights have they lost now that Trump is president? They haven't lost shit.

Jim McAllister said...

Mike,

Did you see Madonna? Goddam! I almost ran away from the computer. She is really tore up physically and a complete idiot in all other ways. Just another washed up no talent dumb bitch trying to gain a forum. Note to her: Give it up stupid; you weren't that great 25 years ago when you conned some suckers into buy your records.

It's times like these when the scum really starts crawling out of their holes looking for some recognition. To all those idiot protesters, forget about it, Trump is president and you are losers. Try to deal with it or better still catch the next garbage scow for some other place.

Mike Slater said...

Jim,

Those protesters that smashed windows and set cars on fire probably didn't realize that crimes in D.C are federal crimes. They may be facing some hard time unlike some other city where they get a slap on the wrist.

I saw Madonna.She looks like she's been rode hard and put up wet. I never listened to her and could care less. Same with that idiot Ashley Judd. They don't realize we don't care what they have to say about anything.

Jim McAllister said...

Mike,

That's right, I never thought of that! Now that TRUMP is running the show, I'd love to see those a-holes punished good and hard under Federal law. Trump is not screwing around with these people; they need to be taught a lesson about manners and respect.

It's interesting that two washed up losers like Madonna and Judd are involved. Their popularity ended a long time ago and it's obvious what their motives are: They surely think that their careers might rebound because of their activity in politics and their supposed support of women's causes. I have news for them: IT ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN!

Rick Kepple said...

I got video of a UFO in the southwestern sky tonight. Probably a meteor crashing into the earth. Tomorrow some realtor will slap a for sale sign on it.

There's a number of folks who don't have Food Stamps, jobs or cell phones now. Sometimes Jen works and I literally guard the farm from intruders.

If I see the dogs look up, bark or run at the fence, I know someone's around. So when the dogs and coyotes were barking at that UFO, I was forewarned and got video, so I can post it and people can watch it on their smartphones!

Jen and I prefer conversation in person, usually watching something on Netflix. We've got a special friendship. She reminds me of SN. No romance, but comfortable.

Jim McAllister said...

Rick,

I have a flip open cell phone that I have had for several years. It's still like new as my wife is the only one who carries it. As far as smartphones I would get one if I thought I would use it but since I don't even use the old flip open phone.

I wish they were available when I was a peddler. I used a lot of pay phones in those days.

Rick Kepple said...

Here's that video, Jimmy. Being former Air Force, maybe you have some idea what it could be. Some folks think it's an experimental aircraft. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NX_-5Qrq8ic

Kids don't remember a time without a phone. I recall a time when we'd be in the forest or along the river hunting or fishing. If you had to call home, you either had to drive a piece to a store, or hope they were telepathic! Pretty much, you did without.

I have two smartphones, so one is always charged for emergencies, like if I'm working the garden by hand and keel over.

Rick Kepple said...

I have this old cell phone kept in a drawer. The phone is at least 13 years old and the last time I saw it, I turned it on and the battery was nearly full. Federal law says that a phone without a contract or minutes must be able to call 911. You can get any phone for an emergency phone.

I get phubbed all the time. About the only reason I have smartphones are to stay in contact with one or two friends who occasionally will work for me for cash and for research.

Etiquette. Repeated dialing or texting is "blowing up the phone" and it considered a foul. Generally I just say, "You know, every time you ignore me, you save me money."

Rick Kepple said...

Here Jimmy, I posted this woodchuck video in time for Groundhog Day! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aeaQR5uuGA0

Smartphones are the newest video cameras. There's a woman in KC who made a feature film with a smartphone! Some zombie picture that she did with her friends. I heard that the new Blair Witch movie was shot with a Smartphone.

Jim McAllister said...

Jimmy,

I understand that Obama has a bit of time on his hands lately. It looks he could use some advice if you have the time. However, if I was you I would tell him to screw himself and stick to the music.

Rick Kepple said...

It's just the fact that once again, I got a letter from a President. Jen isn't impressed at all. Nobody is. What it means is that someone important took my advice. Says so in the letter. You would think that family and friends would be shouting and cheering to the addition to the resume, but not one single word. Hey, Rick did well! Nope, not a word. (Of course, I did say that he was committing genocide too)

President Obama disagrees with me, but I say everything is laid out in predetermined patterns. Obama, the citizen, doesn't believe that. I do. I better stop.

Apparently, he's one of my biggest fans. If he reads my stuff, he reads yours too, Jimmy.

Rick Kepple said...

I've researched for the Republicans and the Democrats. And everyone, but Jimmy and Dell Mack, have smartphones.

Bad guys can get apps to find anyone. I've got a friend who downloaded a free thermal scanner to count the people in a home! Bad news is, those smartphones can now be connected to an AR-15 platform! The readouts look like something from Sci-Fi.

Trump is exactly right about the threats out there. They practice "predatory recruiting" to get moderates to become extremists, or else the family gets it, from the news stories that I've read. Then ISIS has that "lone wolf" manual where a roving cell creates the disposable humans. Codes are kept in Korans. They film themselves on smartphones. Yeah, I'd say that smartphones ruin relationships in deep ways.

Rick Kepple said...

Hey Jimmy. Well, life is different without using the CPAP machine. By now, the doctors know that I'm not using it, since it's like a smartphone and they can download my sleep habits via WiFi. I'm not using the machine any longer! Life day by day.

I've advised Trump all I can.

I'm not interested in romance, Jimmy. The smartphone romance thing, you mentioned. It's why I've got the SN Rules to remind me of the wisdom of remaining single. It's why I look after Jen, so I don't need a woman, except as a friend. SN said so.

The big argument is now that parents get more taxes back for what they never paid in, because they have children. That's got singles pretty angry.